Friday, January 21, 2011
Today is a special day. It's the birthday of Debora Dennis. She's the president of my writing group, Dunes and Dreams. So in her honor, I decided to compile some quotes about birthdays made by prominent comedians. So before I begin, I have a message for Debora: I really love you.
For my birthday, my old man showed me a picture of the cake. I sat there all day trying to blow out the candles.
My childhood was rough. Once for my birthday, my old man gave me a bat. The first day I played with it, it flew away.
You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.
I had the worst birthday party ever when I was a child, because my parents hired a pony to give rides. These ponies are never in good health, but this one dropped dead. It just wasn't much fun after that. One kid would sit on him and the rest of us would drag him around in a circle.
These big birthday parties my friends make for their kids. One of my friends had a surprise party for her child. He was one year old. We all snuck in around the crib, jumped up, and yelled, "Surprise!" He's in therapy now.
Henny Youngman: I walked into a store and said, "It's my wife's birthday. I'd like to buy her a beautiful pen." The clerk winked at me and said, "A little surprise, heh?" I said, "Yes she's expecting a Cadillac."
And on that note, Debora, may you get all that you desire.